i dont understand, i really dont at all. nothing gets into my head, nothing, i cant understand human behaviour, its complicating and definitely cruel.



foolish i was, stupid i've become, i'm outplayed, everytime.

in the world where my questions can never be answered,
in my path where each stone left me curious,
why on earth i make so many stupid mistakes,
tearing apart each vein within me, all over again.

why did i believe in trust, trust that i could get,
was it wrong to feel this way?
was it my fault that led to this failure.
curse, curse this seriously bad luck.

its over i know from so long ago,
but i knew i kept trying,
i tried another method,
but, i guess i was too practical.

i dont feel like moving,
neither do i feel, like i can take it,
its so numb, yet so painful,
i hate it.






i dont wanna think anymore, really, i jus have to suck everything in and tell myself to be more careful in future, i really dont deserve this, from the very beginning, if only u had a mirror to look into it yourself, u may know how i feel. this is the one of the worst moments of my life, i jus have to carry on.




School is tiring, im really trying to study and put in a little more effort each time, but im struggling and struggling and struggling. anyone wanna study with me? haha. i feel like i've lost many things, the much sacrifices i've made. i realise im not myself, i wasnt myself, i was too serious too soon, too serious for someone who didnt really know my real intentions. its a bloody was of time, and i must get back that time. i have my priorities now, i hope, i can get everything back on track and running, hopefully once again, i can see the sun and smile to myself and say, "im really happy."

why is my table getting all sorts of drawings and liquid paper!?!?!?!?!? gahhhh. history week, pls past fast, i nid to get on with other subjects, im dying for math and chem. argh.




;
breaking free to something new. =)