6:02 pm
im such a pettiful bastard. i dont know why im expecting so much. im sorry.
why even when im angry,
i feel so sad for myself,
is it so hard to be upset with you?
is it so hard to get angry with you?
i know i've tried too hard,
but i jus wished you love me a lil more,
and to show that u miss me,
am i just a 7 to 4 boy?
i start to think if my efforts will make a difference,
cant you see what im showing is that i miss you all along?
cant you feel that i need you all along?
because if i felt that way, i'll be assured.
i have to be fussy sometimes,
because it only makes me more sure,
and its out of pure concern,
that i may seem so irritating.
im frustrated and im angry,
cant you take a lil more initiative,
because it reflects how much i mean to you,
for now, i dont think i seem much at all yet.
sigh, it should be a two way thing,
if you dont seem to show it to me,
how can i trust to leave you alone,
knowing that you'll only be thinking of me?
why do i say i love you?
kiss you on your ear,
maybe a lil round the neck,
dreaming of such desires maybe?
i wish i can get that surge of affection from you,
maybe just the same like i do,
because i cant take it,
the love i have for you.
is it so hard?
to just full use your feelings,
not your head at all?
because it will make an entire difference.
so where will you make the stand,
to show that initiaitive im wishing for,
because it means soo much to me,
and it will hasten the cure for this insecurities.
but each time you dont,
it makes me feel you dont care,
and i get more worried,
and i tried to do even more.
i dont wanan run on high,
but in reality it was all a lie,
and its just draining me dry,
it hurts to question myself why.
oh wells. nothing is perfect in this world. nothing is perfect. i guess imperfection in its sense is perfect, but i need a little more than that.
sometimes i dont mean what i say, i get so frustrated, i dont know what i should feel, i really dont, please dont make me feel this way.
action reaction it seems,
where my heart used to beam,
why does hope always look so dim,
sigh, love's unsound it seem.
i hate it when i dont get as much in return,
but love is all about giving,
and nothing for receiving,
but i cant go on without removing the doubt.
ok fine i shall wait for it to happen,
i hope you just make me smile all the way,
because im really soft inside,
and you know i am, especially with you.
make me feel at peace with myself soon,
for im agitated,
greatly and disappointed with everything,
sigh, expectations arose.
the results are out.
CHEM : U
MATH : U
HISTORY : S
ECONS : E
GP : E
CHINESE : E
owellls. i hope i get those sup papers. hopefully.. hopefully.
;
breaking free to something new. =)
