its been a tiring day with a horible chinese mock exam. i think it was freaking dumb. hate it.

well, screwed chemistry. im freaking disheartened and demoralised. i dont know, everything is going downhill. i dont understand, why must i put up a front and say im alright? im not after seeing the results. im happy that u passed, and only an stupid person like me to fail so freaking badly no matter how hard i try. screw it.
i cant afford a fucked up future. i wanna provide everything for you. i really do, i want everything to be fine, as long as i want it to last. i really hate it when i dont feel the same way im making you feel. and its selfish on my part to say this. it just words, and im struggling inside to show that it dont matter to me. but it does so entirely. im breaking so badly, gosh. furthermore the thought of retaining and kick out is so imminent. its not inevitable, and i know i tried. sigh. why all so suddenly, i hate this gutsy feeling. full of angst and will to commit some deceit. argh.

idontwannatalkabtresults.

sigh. i'll stil write it for u.




heavens gates they open so suddenly,
where a bright light flashed abruptly,
contentment, resentment, any understatement,
i need to feel a little more love,
even it meant praying for heaven above.

though im disappointed, im disheartened,
please make my burden alot lightened,
waiting i am patiently i stood,
i wont want to share my sorrowful mood,
it does hurts a little this time though.

i liked the way u tried to help me,
but still it proves im slow and dumb,
it feels like im all over numb,
i wish for a little more affection,
maybe some words from you sometimes.

i couldnt hide all my frustrations,
im still trying and trying a little more,
deepest of my fears i'll become a bore,
even you kept telling me not to worry somemore,
all this happened so soon, like before.

i know i promised i'll bend or break,
and this i do for my love's own sake,
please dear, whatever i give i want you to take,
even if it was that small little cake,
and i hope one day, my reward will come.

tie me down exceptionally well,
it was what happens when u clumsily fell,
deep into my feelings you dwell,
i dont know how much longer i can tell,
you'll know sooner when my love couldnt sell.

im weak and i aint strong you see,
and im waiting for the final statement assurance be,
so please darling tell me soon,
even in this empty room so cold,
i really love you, with all my heart and soul.



i wish for time to pass faster now, cuz it does hurts dont u know, but i know u are trying too. im selfish, im demanding, im useless, im everything. sigh. i wish i'd come soon. i'll try to take everything. i'll try. sorry. i'll still wait knowing it hurts so badly to reach the end. am i good enough? i hope i get an answer to this.

maybe im trying too hard, but thats just me
youknowiloveyou



school's a bore and everyone knows it. shruggs.




;
breaking free to something new. =)