i dont know why i feel like blogging. well. bloggin to me means im able to just cast asides reality and whats unreal. i go into my own depths and messs up real bad. well. its good. its just a blog. where normally u will be able to just let go some part of you. isnt it such a great feeling.


today damn sian. church is normally boring (I AM SO DAMN HONEST). then went eat with godpa and godsis x 2. well. one aint exactly my godsis cuz only my dad and mum is goddad and godma of one of them. so yeahhh. im studying for promos and her. PSLE. liewwww. well. exams stress huh. contain it or let it out positively man.


im getting more frustrated with myself. esp during mass and the sacrements when i suddenly go into deep thinking of this few things.
-my emotions
-my ambitions
-my fears.

i mean. suddenly when i seem to realise its time to stand up after kneeling down, its like almost instantaneously between both points. im thinking about so many things. i just cant seem to know what is anything trying to tell me. i mean, whats the problem with my head, why am i thinking so much? sigh.


i realise one more thing. i was lying on the bed the whole freaking day. its like, so pain in the back, mum and dad didnt wanna bother me abt just lying down. till i needed to go church of course. until the point where they demanded that i could lie down but not fall asleeep. and forbids the air conditioner. hurrrr. bad.


yay. i got green and orange shoelaces. hurhur. strikingly ermerm... striking? well. its nice. i like it. i feel like a POSEUR. HAHAHAHA. yay. loves mum loads for buying me stuffs. pretty good i guesss. =) finally she is asking me to buy more of what i want, cuz i feel damn bad making her spend and wel, sometimes u just neeed new clothes and she finally forced me into buying new clothes. hahha. honestly, its been 4-5 years since i willingly made her buy stuff for me. woooo. but welll, i shall not be an expensive kid, financially tight family well. i love my parents loads. =)

and yeszxzxzx, i got apple strudel for breakfast tomorrow. sweeeeets.



i am not your rich cup of tea,
i cant give u everything u want,
but i promise u just my sincerity,
and my whole heart, completely.

words i repeat,
words to reinforce the fact,
that its thr truth,
it has always been.

i could be better off dead,
in some world, where desires fade,
but there aint such a perfect world,
for such wishes to be fulfilled.

i'll give what i can give,
but not everytime at your demand,
because that will make things too nice,
too in right to grow.

for mistakes provides a different perspective,
it shows a new way and new weaknesses,
for this we use our strenghts to overcome,
not as one but both unite.

carefully, i made my decision,
this very moment,
i've always been thinking about you,
and ask about you, everything.

i tried to know more,
i tried to convince myself im never good enough,
but this time i failed,
yet i dont want to be a fool.

justify my own actions,
and i swear i wont cry,
but i wish i stood a chance,
to a new beginning we'll fly.

strictly we glance again
trying not to make it obvious,
removing any expression on our faces,
afraid to expose ourselves,
nervous yet daring by nature
gracefully fulfilling our hearts desires
evading those watchful eyes
racing the pulse of our heartbeat.

thud thud, there it goes again,
again we cry in our sleep,
but i know it will never be enough
for we could only smile at our sillyness.



so where do we meet again? hopefully in our dreams tonight. i'll be there, will you?




;
breaking free to something new. =)