so when it comes to times when u know u try so hard for something.

i feel like givin up seriously, i really do, i hate this feeling of cat and mouse, of the times when u need to out on a front to ensure that ure confident about what ure really feeling. i have come to the point where it brings misery, it brings me to the point where tears part like memories, memories i wished i havent forgotten. happiness never enternal, however it was happiness that makes u forget those memories we must keep to remind ourselves that our actions bear consequences.

so how much are we willing to sacrifice for that short term happiness that i know ure gonna break sooner.


should i really give up? i dont wanna break down, i dont wanna be left feeling the feeling of hopelessness all over again.


i'll smash the walls,
bruised the knuckles,
feel the pain,
and leaving my mark behind.

so what is it for,
well im a saddist,
i love to torture myself,
just to feel that satisfaction again.



im questioning myself and i dont see myself having enough time for myself. i wish to escape from this world, unharm. selfish, paraniod and relentless. i dont care. i just want the better for myself. dont relationships always teach you to be selfish and self centred? dont they teach you to know that in the end, you;ll always end up suffering?



so put an end to my own misery, take all the pain away, so u think ure all along the one that needs to be cared for? all the attention aint on you now and neither is it on anyone else. we dont need to bother what will be the better for both worlds to find out what is right and what is wrong.



im disappointed with myself. i dont know what i should do. i'll just know i have to, give up entirely. because i care.



maybe i love playing the hero, or was it the problem with the self esteem. but in reality, i dont deserve you on bit. maybe iloveyou wasnt the words meant for me to say to you, but goodbye. we din even have a chance to say hello




;
breaking free to something new. =)