IM damn fucking upset now. depressed disappointed discouraged demoralised annoyed stressed frustrated lost pissed irritated pessemistic o-so-hating sad down WHATEVER NEGATIVE FEELINGS shitholes its all im feeling right now.though shall not try to be emo.

FIRSTLY, RESULTS ARE SOOOO F-eD up. seriously. i cant seem to get my act and now im doing so but its piling up so much of a pressure, that i dont see myself doing anything or getting anywhere. this mid years meant so much to me as i know the feeling of active failing. im sooooo depressed now.boo. this mid years. its sooo screwed already. i shall not say my results anymore. its beyond f***ed up. its worse than expected. sigh.


SECONDLY, CHINESE ORAL WAS A WHIMP. such a sore to my already bad sore throat (no link) but OMG. I CANT SPEAK EASY CHINESE WORDS. for heavens sake. what the hell is wrong. argh. i cant believe it, sigh. im soooo bloody pissed with myself. even the topic wasnt hard but i cant seem to put the english thoughts out into chinese. so much for being a billingual citizen. screw it. CHINESEB. FUCK YOU. i swear if im gonna take you, i'll kill you.


THRIDLY, im totally blind to mathematics. MAD DEE MEHH DICKS. ohhh freak. i swore i as never a talent to chemistry and mathematics. dont know why i took them either. cuz i was afraid of trying out lit. but i GUESS IT WAS GOOD FOR MARCUS who tried it eventually and the rest of the chs guys. ohhhhh mother****. immmm so pissed now, i'll roar so loud it bring down the nearby HDB flats.

FOURHTLY, I HATE BEING SICK. it spoils my chance of eating nice to eat food and resort to EATING bread or porridge or rather, things that aint so COMMON or TASTY.

FIFTHLY, I HATE TO DO work. i mean. EOM, omg due. PW omg due. math omg due. chem file omg due. ARGH. im sooo late for work? history has been a fluke cuz i havent did much readings. im soooo screwed. sigh. im like rushing everything and i get so stressed up, feeling like an idiot.

SIXTLY (my eng seriously sucks ohwhatever). I HATE EATING DINNER ALONE. I HATE IT. i have been eating alone cuz parents are out everyday from dono how long ago and this feeling sucks. no siblings and all alone at home. sometimes i dont know why i go home in the first place. why would i even bother to cook myself and spend hours dreaming why i was even born like that. its not about being lonely, i just wished i can haf a nice meal at least with somebody. sigh. had to buy my dinner back AGAIN. ohwhatthefux. made my day worse. sighhh.



whatever comes what may i bear,
my failures are borne and meant to fare.
careless wishings come unwanted,
so what we want will never be granted.

i have enough enough to be said,
i made myself so clear to those fake,
i grown perpetual to ignorance,
but my heart succumbs to deterrance.

my heart is dying,
my strength wavering,
my hope diminishing,
my words emptying.

carry my burdens,
show me yet again my assurance,
dont expose my insecurity,
but hold me definitely.

so let me get this straight,
my successes will come eventually,
i dont care how and i dont care when,
i'll do it, with or without you.



sigh.


what can get any worse?

training eat study sleep. maybe this 4 things should come into priorities into my life, or it has to come into my life. alot of things i havent done enough, so many things left unsaid. i cant do it.
i cant do it.
i cant do it.
i cant do it,
i cant make myself to do what u want me to do.

u wanted a knight,
i'll be your hero,
u wanted me to hold u awhile,
i'll give u eternity,
u asked for my opinion,
i'll swear a promise.
u wanted a little bit more of everything,
i'll give u my entire lifetime.


get the idea? sorry i cant make the move maybe i was just too tired running away. im sorry.




;
breaking free to something new. =)