was so tired yesterday that i did not blogged.

had sports heats yesterday. ran 100 and 4x400. i was really upset though.

i am no longer in reach cambridge. sigh. i worked so hard. only 4 coudl go and ian, mark, marcus and vanessa went. corrine and i couldnt make it. sorta sad, i mean that tears did left my eyes, glad that at least im only human. no one knows how much it meant to me. i'll do anything for it, practically anything, not the chance go begging, i dont see myself doing it ever again. i jus felt i was better, maybe this time, i was wrong. sigh.

well the heats cheered me up a little bit. ran 11.95 sec. i mean its pretty slow. the timing recorded for me on the paper was 11.64 and 11.8+. it was the confusion with those lousy timers that made this stupid timing. furthermore, in heats 1, there was no one who hit below 12 sec at all. today i saw the board and daryl got 11.8? WHAT THE HELL? its so pissing me off. we'll see about it in the final. and im glad my 4x400 race. i did prob 58-60 sec. and im so sure about it. i was pretty upset once again that my senior class peeps din do exactly as well. screwed up entirely.


sigh. screwing up is part of my life now, sometimes wanna achieve something is so hard.

i keep seeing you and felt that i cant possibly let go. i like my stranger

sigh. i feel like everything tumbling down onto me. im really disheartened. everything in what im doing. nothing seems to be going right at the moment, nothing. i dont know what to do now. i feel like im left alone, maybe i am alone. sigh. i wished i never loved before.'

if only i never loved before, maybe i would love you now. but if i hadnt loved before, i wouldnt have made that decision that what i feel towards you, are genuine. and i know it from the bottom of my heart.




;
breaking free to something new. =)