i couldnt tell. never. not even by the look in your eyes. when we were staring face to face. the only thing i saw was, your innocence.

even if it will condemn mr old oakley on his trip to belgium for a visit to his sick aunt, wouldnt it make a difference at all if it was someone else for him. no one will understand. doesnt need anyone to anyway.

i wouldnt dare say another word. because of a guilt i never did afford to let go, a guilt i wanna hold inside of me to teach myself a lesson... but this guilt has turned into something i wanna commit again. over.. and over again.

bruised, a single swift action of rashness and stupidity has fallen upon me once again. never did i want to lay a finger on anyone but you. you foolish man, reflect upon your action and test your own faith, for God does not judge anyone neither should you judge against what you preach. fool. a total fool in my own very eyes.

this new year, i hope i got a better bounty. tum ti tum. i really love to see everything perfect and fine, everything less empty, everything with some colour and with shades of love. Couldnt i tell the wonders i have in front of me, or wonder why never i had put in so much effort onto the little blossom which fell from above? satisfied i wasnt i want it more. i really wanted more, so much more that i couldnt afford, each time i left, empty and yet urging for the void i so much persisted against. petrified i am now.

sacrifice, i cant seem to sacrifice. but everytime i try, sacrifice turns to anguish as what i sacrificed took its toil of redemption to my sins i've long forgotten. its coming back. bit by bit. the long talked about how i was when i was young, and when i played alone and talking to myself, was i born to really be alone in this world by the word of consent has sent me reeling from the seat in which i once laid upon. the royalty i once pledge was the poverty i have chosen. in which neither could but yet show me the same path.

like everyone said, if everything was a bed of roses, everything would haf no meaning and nothing would be meaningful. but for every bed of roses im trying to achieve, im feeling empty, but deep inside, i do not know if it was you at all, because i know... i can live without you, yes without you... but the human nature just keep tempting me... for how long will you last... for how long?




;
breaking free to something new. =)