please... it was never your fault. its over. its something that made me move on, i was careful, never to tell a single word to you. still yet telling you in a different way.
i was ridiculous telling you how i felt, its so stupid of me, i knew it all along it wasnt the right time, i knew it wasnt, and it wasnt your fault for asking at all. pls don't feel angry.
i regretted in certain ways, this time, i'll be avoiding you, i dont know why, i cant bear to see u anymore. i dont want to, becoz it hurts alot. it sound so stupid and simple, yet its real, its so real to me, it aint superficial.
my words do not mean anything to you, but im still trying inside, im still killing myself for you. maybe soon, when i'll probably die, its when i choose to move on.

"never force someone to love you,
i rather be unloved"

this is the time, where i choose to give up, if thats what u really want it to be this way, inside, if by doing so will make u happier, i'll go away. because, i cant, i cant say i dont feel that way for you. if the only way to dont make u feel that im having any feelings for you is to get out of your sight, to get out of your life. and for me to stop doing anything, is to totally isolate myself. if that is what u really want to.

i know i dont make a difference at all, even in future, its okay to me, loving someone is making the person happy. though my thoughts are selfish, its because i admit i cant control it, i dont know what to do, im running away again, this time u knowing it.

im so physically and mentally drain, studying for so long, i cant take it but im still trying, hoping that, i'll do well.

its so hard to live my life without thinking of what i really want, because i felt i lost something really precious. u dont know how much u meant to me, and i dont think u will ever know how much u do.

i have lost everything, because i lost you, and i know, i admit i dont have anymore pride to stand in front of you and say i love you. its different now, even good friends, i wish i meant something more to you, but i know i will never be good enough. never.

when i said i miss you i really do. and it'll will never be the last time that i ever do. but this time everything will stay inside, it will stay hidden, i must not let my feelings out anymore, it'll be the last time, i wished it will never be.

Right Here Waiting

Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last, some how
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end, if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you
Waiting for you





i wish i could sing it to you. this may be the last time i'll ever tell you how i feel about you. cant u see it baby, every word, meant so much, every action, jus amplifies my pain, because by letting u know, u've got me crazy. if only there is a chance, i will take it, i will never let it go, still, no matter how my heart breaks, i still will be here waiting for you.

sigh~.


"my feelings are shattered,
torned apart by a torrent of emotions.
swept away by misunderstanding,
wishing there would be a correction.

you are so far away,
this game i fail to play.
i dare say u meant everything to me,
since the first few days i set my eyes on you.

im proud i could love you this far,
i've made it clear,
those simple words,
i love you.

time after time,
miles apart,
ure still in my heart,
i wish u knew.

love is more than words,
if only i have this chance.
but its all about "if only's"
even if i knew it will never happen.

even if it hurts so badly,
i'll still feel so deeply.
i cant let go like you tell me so,
because this aint no ordinary.

this is how i feel,
and i know you dont feel the same.
just be happy,
that would be enough."


-insights from my hearts, my fear, my emotions.

i've read it, you saying that, to let it go. and those words hurts the most. because, i cant let go, it wun go, if it were so easy, i would have given up 4 years ago.
i wrote my last in a note, hoping that it'll make a difference. when i turn around and walk away, its becuase, i really do love you.


this last song, for you. again.



Hero

[Let me be your hero. (whisper)

Would you dance
If I asked you to dance?
Would you run
And never look back?
Would you cry
If you saw me cryin'
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble
If I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
For the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight.

Chorus:
I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Would you swear
That you'll always be mine?
Would you lie?
Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care, you're here tonight.

Chorus

I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

(Instrumental)

Oh, I just wanna hold you.
I just wanna hold you, oh yeah.

Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well, I don't care, you're here tonight.

Chorus

I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain, oh yeah
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Chorus

You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.]







how i wish, i could say this in my own words, but this is as fair as i can go. if u really could see it, everything, every single thing, was done because of you. but i dont wan to trouble you to pick up the pieces, im not worth it. please dont make me live a lie... but if u really wanted me to, i will do it for you, even if it means hurting myself, i mean it. and i have always did.




;
breaking free to something new. =)