i shuldnt tell anyone how i feel, i shouldnt tell her, it will change her perspective of me. i cant anymore. i cant. i wont say, i cant say i shouldnt say, dont make me say, dont make me pour out what i feel, please dont. i really love you, i realise i do, maybe jus watching by the side, is the most i can do.


"i live to regret, not telling you how i feel, maybe i've told you, but it went by like a gentle breeze, a whisper left unnoticed."



u were everything i wanted, somehow i dont know how it started but inside, its all i ever knew, i've destroyed myself knowing you. it sounds so serious, yeah, serious, but dont u know, its jus like that. it aint ur fault, it aint anyone, but mine. its either im to blame for not telling you, or was it for me to be blamed for my own stupidity, my own unwillingness to tell you that i love you.

its not abt the HC girl anymore. thats that. its jus you okay? its you.


"its not abt whether ure dumb or smart,
its not abt whether ure pretty or ugly,
its not abt whether ure fat or skinny,
its not abt whether ure loved or hated.

all that matters is that ure who u are,
how imperfect you are in my eyes,
how different you are compared to me,
how much i can do to make us perfect."



thats all that matters, everything, i dont wanna regret, i dont wanna live a lie, i dont wanna take everything i had for granted. if loving u for 4 years long? no it aint, and another 4 years i will love you. and another 4 years ahead of another 4 years 4ever. its basically thats it, im still here for you, when u needed me, the times i neglected u did not make a difference but it made a difference to me now. i dont wanna think that by living a lie and hurt myself it would solve the problem, if only there were more time.



"i pray to god, that he would tell me how u feel,
i pray to god, that i would get the strength to hold on,
i pray to god, that he would grant me this very wish,
that is to love you as who u are.

i pray to god, that he would give me courage,
i pray to god, that he would give me the zeal and chivalry,
i pray to god, that he would grant me the chance,
to say to you that i love you.


from the very deepest end of my heart."


you've made me cry, you've made me feel like never b4, you have made me try every ways and means to forget you, but u came back to my heart because, i cannot let you go.



"i dont wanna tell you, becoz im scared.
my fragile heart,
my cautious attitude,
my fear of rejection,
my despondation,
too scared, of losing you."



dont you understand,
cant u see it? cant u feeel it?
ite becoz you dont like me as i do love you.
all along, it has been this black and white,
whether i bend or break,
its up to you.

my decisions of my life were somehow based on you.
but i felt it was impossible.


"tears running dry,
why, why am i like this to cry,
the wings i had to fly,
my love for you i die."


i wish i wish i wish i wish. i knew more, because, its all about you.
i'll end here, with a note saying.
PS: i love you.




;
breaking free to something new. =)