i wonder what my friends are for? i mean those people who i was there for, where were they when i thought i was there for them? its really strange and bloody unfair to me sometimes, they dont know it, cuz many just take things for granted.


&if i dont say hello, you wouldnt knew i ever exist.
&what i do for? stupid. i dont know why.


im insignificant, though i really try more than others sometimes. when i do make the difference, its too much to handle. cant i be normal for once? like everyone else?


i hate it too when peoply come and go. it makes me insecure but o wells, part and parcel of life. never trust people is that it? gosh im jus tired inside and really really stress.
i thought i could do it, in the end i feel so unprepared. there is so much i know but so much i dont know. how how how? please show me a sign? please. my next paper is like in 10 hours time. its a do or die.


ENGLISH paper today was totally nonsense. not only that it felt awkward and relatively irrelavent.
SITUATIONAL WRITING : OMFG LAH.. i wrote like 800 to 1000 words? it was like really really fast and i had everything in mind, yet i feel i left something out.
COMPREHENSION : the passage was totally nonsense, but the questions asked are more retarded. guess what, set by mrs teng. expected. dumb whore. Summary more dumb, couldnt find 10 points, i mean i REALLY couldnt find more than 12 points, i swear, no one did.
COMPOSITION : WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? i chose the topic "write about the time you had to give up on something precious" OMGOMGOMG... why did i chose this? i jus wrote everything down, it became more of an internal aggression of letting everything out. i feel stupid, maybe so if the marker fail me, i swear i will give him/her a smack in the face for despicing my feelings. SCREW IT.


jus cae home at around 10.15 actually. stayed back in school till 9.45pm. ok its dumb but study? i dont know it works but im feeling drained. really drained, esp mentally and spiritually. -i wanna give up.

TWIN
i still love you,
you jus dont know.


i really wanna booze out.
GRAD NITE 23 november, rasa sentosa. okay... im REALLY GONNA GET DRUNK MY WORRIES AWAY. i swear...

i dont know.
i feel its right
to get drunk,
to pick up smoking,
to get into fights,
to start playing around,
to have a piercings
to give up....



why why why? ahh is stupid. im so so so stress. its like only prelims to some. but ive been putting alot of effort. im so pissed if it dont pays off.




;
breaking free to something new. =)