8.30
i rather choose this path... maybe its not the best for me, well it does for everyone else. How i wished i never felt like this way about you before... i dun wanna love you.

oh yes! i jus cut my hair yesterday... ahhh great i like it =)

hrmmmmmmms mum and dad are like treating me better now... i like that too.

i coult still rmb, during the darkest moments, i thought of you, somehow i wanted to be very selfish, i was there for you for every moment, yet i wished you were there for me, i couldn't feel your prescence. I was disappointed. But it doesn't matter.
Now is the time that i;ve been always thinking, it really doesn't matter if you cared for me, or say hello, because its really hard to forgive someone. I always think someone deserve a second chance. However i was never given a second chance. No one will change their impression of me anymore, its fixed. So why should i think everyone must be given a chance to show that they are somewhat different and what they are now are jus part and parcel of growing. If it takes so long to grow why judge me when i was like 3-4 years ago. fucked up society.

Concern comes at a price. It never takes a straight route, more like it takes a stage of maturity to understand how someone else feel. Why say you care when u couldn't even say hello. Maybe its appearence, maybe its that old feeling, maybe its because ure judgemental, maybe its cause you cannot forgive, maybe its u're too lazy to even think that one person who tries will make a difference.

I think everyone makes mistakes during any point of their life. Its when those people there who should understand. I've seen those mistakes, but its always seen as a learning experience. Maybe some just don't see it that way... perhaps they need to get into such a situation to understand. =)

Everything is so shortlived now. Its like come and go. I treasure things. everything. when i say i care, i really do. Its an honest opinion of commitment, if anyone doubt me, try me.

i'll guess i'll blog later, im feeling so stupid about the environment i'm currently in now. I don't wanna see you, i don't want anymore, maybe its becoz i've given up, i don't know. Jus trying now not to think about it.


5.30
went to church in the morning, then went to meet fengheng and another guy to study. oh wells feng hope he enjoyed his treat =)
i really want my 6As i wil work hard for it, at least thats what i can achieve on my part...
Friendster is working damn slow lah, irritating...

i hope my life takes a turn. hopefully, everything is like hope hope hope. whats hope when everything seems so bleak. argh...

saw this really pretty girl yesterday...
*grins-
and today
*grins- again

O wells, see no touch theory applies here =(
*oh fine im crapping like what the ****ing*

what if i want you? what if i need you? you won't know. Somethings are really impossible, really really impossible. I guess so...

i hate myself.. use me, do whatever you want, if it pleases you. tortured soul of mine, blazing into the abyss, an incite of an inferno, there will be no judgement day. im hopeless...




;
breaking free to something new. =)